Bing Says We Are Weird. I Prove It. Using Search Term Poetry.

Bing has done so repeatedly:

Bing Places asks for this every few months.

In order to learn more about this fundamental confusion I investigated my Bing search terms. [This blog has now entered the phase of traditionally light summer entertainment.]

Rules:

  • Raw material: Search terms shown in Bing Web Master Tools for any of my / our websites.
  • Each line is a search term of a snippet of a search term – snippets must not be edited but truncation of phrases at the beginning or end is allowed.
  • Images: Random pick from the media library of elkement.blog or our German blog (‘Professional Tinkerers – Restless Settlers‘)

_______________________

you never know
my life and my work

is life just about working
please try to give a substantial answer

A substantial answer.

element not found
map random elkement

Random elkement, confused by maps.

so as many of you may know (though few of you may care)
my dedication to science

this can happen if
the internet is always a little bit broken

The internet is always a little broken

google translate repetetive glitch poetry

_______________________

So let’s hear what Google has to say!
Same rules, only for Google Search Console:

_______________________

so called art
solar energy poem

ploughing through
proof of carnot theorem
thermodynamics in a nutshell

Thermodynamics in a nutshell.

mr confused
why him?

Mr Confused

plastic cellar
sublime attic
in three sentences or fewer, explain the difference

Plastic tank - 'ice storage'

Sublime attic.

name the three common sources of heat for heat pumps
magic gyroscope
frozen herbs
mice in oven

Had contained frozen herbs. Isomorphic to folding of ice/water tank pond liner.

shapeshift vs kraken
tinkers construct slimey
you found that planet z should not have seasons

Slimey

the best we can hope for is that
tv is dangerous

what is the main function of the mulling phase?
you connect a packet sniffer to a switch

Connect a sniffer - to your heat pump

how to keep plastic water tank cool in summer
throwing boiling water into freezing air

Freezing air.

just elke
self employed physicist
the force is strong in me

The force is strong in me.

  _______________________

Self-Sufficiency Poetry

Our self-sufficiency quota for electrical energy is 30%, but what about the garden?

Since I haven’t smart metered every edible wildflower consumed, I resort to Search Term Poetry and random images. This is a summer blog post, lacking the usual number crunching and investigative tech journalism.

(Search terms are from WordPress statistics and Google Tools)

Direct self-consumption quota was nearly 100% last year (no preservation), and self-sufficiency was very low, with one exception: Yarrow tea.

This year we will reach 100% herbal tea self-sufficiency:

Yarrow TeamThe solar/air collector is boosting yarrow harvest – and we have yet to include its cosmic quantum free energy focusing effect in the marketing brochure.

fringe science theories
can efficiency be greater than 1

Collector, yarrow, poppy

But it also boosts vitality of other life forms:

alien energy

Slimey Aliens near collector

I cannot prove that these particular slimy aliens – edible and a protected species in Austria – are harmful as I never caught them red-handed. You just need to be careful when collecting vegetables to avoid the slimy parts.

We are self-sufficient re green ‘salad’ and ‘fake spinach’ for about half a year. Our top edible wild flowers in terms of yield are Dandelion, Fireweed, Meadow Goat’s Beard …

why does the grim reaper have a scythe

Meadow Goat's Beard

… and White Stonecrop: both tasty …

jurassic park jelly

White Stonecrop and snail

… and ornamental:

zeitgeisty

White Stonecrop, Sedum Album

With standard vegetables (accepted as edible by the majority) we did crop rotation – and the tomatoes look happiest as solitary plants in new places …

analyzing spatial models of choice and judgment

Tomatoe Plant

The Surprise Vegetable Award goes to an old heirloom variety, called Gartenmelde in German:

slinkyloop antenna
physics metaphors

Gartenmelde

Last year exactly one seedling showed up, and we left it untouched. This year the garden was flooded with purple plants in spring:

virtual zen garden

Gartenmelde in spring

There are two main categories of edible plants – and two different branches of the food chain: Things we mainly eat, like tomatoes, herbs, onion, and garlic …

old-fashioned

Garlic, tomatoes, herbs

… and the ones dedicated to alien species. Top example: The plants that should provide for our self-sufficiency in carbohydrates:

simple experiment

Potatoes

In the background of this image you see the helpful aliens in our garden, the ones that try to make themselves useful in this biosphere:

force on garden hose
so called art

Helpful Alien

But looking closer, there is another army of slimy life-forms, well organized and possibly controlled by a superior civilization in another dimension:

the matrix intro
protocol negotiation failed please try again

Slimey aliens and potatoes

microwaving live animals

This garden is fertilizer- and pest-control-free, so we can only try to complement the food chain with proper – and more likeable – creatures:

solutions to problems

Hedgehog, Potatoes

Yes, I have been told already it might not eat this particular variety of aliens as their slime is too bitter. I hope for some mutation!

But we are optimistic: We managed to tune in other life-forms to our philosophy as well and made them care about our energy technology:

so you want to be an engineer

Blackbird and air pump

This is a young blackbird. Grown up, it will skillfully de-slime and kill aliens, Men-in-Black-style.

Life-forms too quick or too small for our random snapshot photography deserve an honorable mention: Welcome, little snake (again an alien-killer) and thanks mason bees for clogging every hole or tube in the shed!

It is a pity I wasted the jurassic park search term on the snail already as of course we have pet dinosaurs:

Pet Dinosaur

So in summary, this biotope really has a gigantic bug, as we nerds say.

sniff all internet access

Bug or Feature

Blinded by the Light: Links Not Considered Click-Worthy

I promised more experimental internet poetry — here it is!

The problem: Spam comments have petered out, their number seems to scale with posting frequency. The quality of search terms for this blog has improved, and most terms are technical and dull.

I turned to untapped raw material – finally I know what last year’s web development project was good for. As predicted, views plummeted after merging three sites into one and picking a country domain. The upside is that search terms got much better.

The following ‘poem’ is built from phrases displayed in Google Search Console (formerly called Webmaster Tools) for my personal website. I am picking from search terms in the list of Impressions: which means my pages appeared in the list of results but most of them were not clicked; hence the title of this post.

~

blinded by the light
despicable me

subversive activities
inconspicuous in a sentence

blinded by the light

blended movie stream
spooky black without you

offensive security
issued by an authority that is not trusted

offensive security

how does a steel plow work
educated guess

definition of tossed
krypton
deflector

energy armor
was last opened
across the universe

prevent the details of
dubious battle

energy armor

galaxy life hacked
mathematical modelling of zombies
lest means
gloomy sunday lyrics

meaning of strangeness
toilet success hacked

letterbox company

educated sentence generator
template missing

define subversive humor
farewell letter to customers
reply all bcc
without papers

subversive (humor)

 ~

What the Internet Asks of Me

… via search terms submitted by blog visitors, of course!

This is a cross-over of search term poetry and using search terms for serious investigations: A collection of phrases from 2015 WordPress statistics, plus comments [in italics and bold].

As usual, phrases are unedited except from truncations at beginning and end, and I have added ‘suitable’ images taken recently. 

[What will remain an enigma forever]
how to control alien spaceship
why isn’t probability deterministic
a i am poem about microwaves for science
why i feel im succumbed to my own dark side

alien spaceship[What you really should know]
63,42 divided by 3
calories burned swinging a scythe
understand thermodynamics intuitively

scythe[What this (blog) is not]
english short poem
popular science books on solid state
one test location where slinky wouldn’t slink

one test location[What this blog (maybe) is]
desublimation pot
surrealist paradise
scrapyard poem site
a website where you can combine anything

don't climb the art[What people only dare to ask here]
what was the importance of garden hose theory and what was it
i enrolled without turnprinting,how am i sure that i have enrolled?
elkement

elkement's garden hose

[What the internet gets right about what I do]
plot the performance curves for heat pump versus temperature of water delivered
cistern-based water-source heat pump system design
heat transfer from submerged plastic pipe
some daily calculation in physics
can bus technische alternative
heat pump ice storage
sniff router traffic
datalogger
uvr1611
pki

sniff router traffic

[What the internet thinks I am a top and foremost expert in]
development the art of constructing error messages
how.to respond to notification for award nomination
connecting slinkies

message or art

[What I should learn more about]
card dialing
worst cistern pumps
cattle panels tomato supports
horizotal press risk assessments

tomato support

[What I should turn into a business]
phreaking practice
management metaphor diagrams
quote juassic park multiple lines of reasoning converging on a single point

metaphor, security

[What should become a manifesto]
we combine theory and practice at the same time
any device control by internet
work hard play hard culture
poetry theory now
zen capitalism

fake zen garden

[What finally is true poetry]

what do you see when water vapor sublimes on windows
on a cold night
resist being baited

can a substance be made
to describe
an object rotating around a central force

search a poem related to the theme of the poem try again
practice everything in the universe
pump for ice

ice storage

Crowdsourcing Poetry (Again)

This is Search Term Poetry created from terms harvested in the second quarter. I even owe the post’s title to a valuable searcher.

As usual, all lines are taken from search terms in WordPress Stats – no editing allowed except for truncation at the beginning and the end of phrases.

But I could not resist harvesting also some search terms also from Google’s Webmaster tools this time. There are so many ‘unknown’ search terms indicated by WordPress’ blog statistics which are most likely due to Google’s encrypting the search results.

Now … forget all nerdiness and technology … and just get lost in the overwhelming beauty of this piece of art.

[New readers, this was irony in case it is not obvious from the following poem.]

crowdsourcing poetry

attention seeking designer freaks poem
poems about overdue

existential poetry
virtual zen garden
thought like time is never linear

Time

Time is never linear.

why does theoritical physics deny outsiders
false intuitions about physics

picture quotes never stop living
emoticons blackboard lightning bolt

Light

Light and nostalgic emotions.

the theory of the water tank
for popular reading

classroom experiments with relativity
energy creating machine

Power Lines

Here is the energy.

spaceballs calculus
confused maths puzzles

greatest innovations ever
vortex garden hose

what is thoery of toilet flusing to find map location
hyperbolic decay

Tree at the edge of reason

Hyperbolic decay.

diy gas turbine
running gas line to an island through a vertical pillar?

find i a strangle loop-douglas hofstader wth articles
smoke ring letters

Clouds

Smoke rings. Sort of.

poems in terms of electrical engg
information of tension change

what the user wanted
an equation for the perpendicular bisector of the line segment

Lake

The surface of the lake is nearly perpendicular to the sides of the image.

images of decease memerial
toilet duck in 1960s

is it normal not to like social media
zeitgeisty

Speakers

Social Media.

what does the grim reaper do
cut anything

dark side of me is even more interesting

Dark Side of the Elkement

Me on the dark side.

to unravel me you need a simple key, no key that was made by locksmith’s hand, but a key that only i will understand.

memepool dead

______________________________

For the bi-lingual poetry fans: Here is the German Q2 edition, also enriched with Google webmaster tools’ terms and some other but equally bad photos.

Search Term Poetry – Spring Edition

Dear Google,

you do still encrypt your search results. As a security enthusiast I should like this but I rather suspect you want me to use your AdWords tools. Please stop showing me ads for your “starter package” on all social networks, and give me the raw material for my poetry back.

For now I will penalize you by displaying the logo of your competitor although, admittedly, I would find yours more appealing.

Bing logo (2013)Now here is the poem.

As usual, every line corresponds to a search term from WordPress Stats covering the first quarter of 2014. Truncation of search terms at the beginning or the end is permitted, other editing is not.

The images are very much like the search terms – blurry, stored accidentally, and I try to compress and truncate them to serve a purpose.

And yes: the title really was a search term.

the theory and practice of combining just about anything
quality assurance poem
funny ways to combine 2 cliches

hoops smoke effect
response to existentialism

intuitive understanding
shallow and deep reading

non linear art
describes the tendency of the force

polarize antifragile
what is the measure

blank sheet
trusted certificate

google on my heat
myzen engineering

build einstein refrigerator
steampunk heat sink

call center puzzle
automatic clock

chinese wall
scrapyard combines

geonometric art
intersecting lines

poetry-02

sitting gyroscope
entropy and no momentum/energy

upward communication
i need to remember this

elastic glancing collisions
least action

center of mass
snippet shooting

fringe science theories
intuitive symbols

which is more important
to just roll over bump

Search Term Poetry Sans Google

Times have been rough for search poets since Google has decided to encrypt search results.

But you could also argue that search terms should be more non-mainstream, hip, and sophisticated now as submitted by users preferring non-mainstream search engines.

So this is Google-less search term poetry, created from terms harvested in Q4 2013. As usual, lines of the poem are taken from search phrases, unedited, and probably truncated at beginning and end. Search terms must not be concatenated.

[Interlude: Scholarly Wisdom]

I am reading a book highly relevant for the psychology of creating art from the virtual scrapyard: Daniel Kahneman’s seminal book Thinking, Fast and Slow (Thanks, Maurice!). Kahneman describes our shortcomings in dealing with probabilities and in making sound, rational decisions in general. He gives a lot of evidence from psychological research on how our so-called intuition fails us spectacularly.

Our educated guesses on numbers – such as the age of a celebrity – are impacted by random numbers brought to our attention via a wheel of fortune. We feel that 90% fat-free is better than 10% fat. And we are insist on seeing patterns in truly random structures.

Kahneman calls the different modes of thinking or sub-entities of our mind system 1 and system 2. Yet, these are conceptual entities describing the research results; they and not intended to be related to specific parts of the brain. Physicists would call this a phenomenological approach.

System 1 jumps to conclusions quickly and helps us with making the world simpler by substituting hard questions (Why should I vote for X?) by easy questions (Do I like X?). It does al this with ease. System 2 is our strained machine for mental arithmetic. It is at work when you multiply big numbers (unless you are savant) or create list of pro’s and con’s.

Actually, system 1 seems to be in control most of the time – but my special kind of poetry is created when I give system 1 full control deliberately. Gleefully and using zero mental energy it scans search terms or spam comments in order to see patterns and relations – dialogues and stanzas – where they are none.

[/Interlude]

Lines have been formatted in bold in italics in order to denote headers (System 2 tries to contribute by providing a table of contents).

scientific terms poems

calculations to determine
42 plus 63
42 divided by 63

do not fall
quantum boffin
with counterweight

proton animation
smokerings icon
earth rotation
toy elevator
it has to be tried in practice

power grid turned off
welcome to the real world
the subversive element

analytical essay

name the four element
space balls
phase space

mouse in a microwave
is always tangential to axis

which countries
german hills
jurassic park

“the new worst slogan”
best innovation ever
harvesting ice

cultural spam(food) poetry

metaphors on a scrapyard
anti-stress spiral spring

a break on my blog
sniffing a path
decoding hidden identity

zen capitalism
google culture
the jelly bing

confessions of a luddite
feel dumb in theory

clap hands
instead of falling over

Wheel of Fortune