What? A Spooky Spam Poem of Danger, Fear, Hope.

It is time to purge the spam queue again! Spam commenters are still gloomy and plagued with existential questions and answers.

I am very proud of the simple and powerful title. What? was a complete spam comment. I even clicked the associated link as it felt so genuine.


there is no danger
If you have no fear.

The sector hopes
it will be famous
I did not expect this.

not all people realize
un-ambiguity and preserveness

It looked spooky and far-out
do not provide an exact mental picture

a big, unscrupulous, supercool unyielding drive
this can be the worst
how they believe
is impossible

captivate attentions

unpredicted emotions
were also in close proximity

people come together and share thoughts
digging into more facts as we speak

It seems too complex
Sit down and do some math on your own

your enthusiasm
reduces the measure of atomic number 8
the proper functioning of machines
you will not be accessible.
unaware of these details

it seems as though you relied on
particular choices
no I don’t

precious familiarity
thus a classic.

you are my function
spit you out wrong, shriveled, depressed, disturbed or disgusted

thats all I have to say.
Always go after your heart.


22 Comments Add yours

  1. M. Hatzel says:

    It was good to see your presence on WordPress a couple of days ago. We’ve been watching the news about the floods, thinking of you and hoping you’re safe.

    1. elkement says:

      Thanks a lot, Michelle, for thinking of me! I am living in a region rather far away from the flooded areas. Here – near the Austrian-Hungarian border – we have been blessed.

      1. M. Hatzel says:

        Good to hear; the news reports say only massive rainfall, land slides and flooding in Austria, without a lot of detail, which left much to the imagination.

        1. elkement says:

          Thanks again, Michelle! Actually, I was hesitant (a bit) to post the spam poem when everybody was reporting on the flood. I considered writing something about the flood, too, but it would have felt awkward. Probably I am (would be) not very good at that type of journalism, but I would not contribute to those who were “just reporting”. I was not personally involved (nobody I know was in danger), so it would not have felt “honest” to write about it from second-hand TV experience.
          I am not sure if this media hype is helpful as it enhances disaster tourism (which Germany is famous for, as I learned from a discussion with international Google+ friends. I guess this is also true for Austria.) Probably I will write about it when the dust (mud) has settled.

  2. David Yerle says:

    I’m starting to get seriously jealous of the spam you people get (and by that I mean you and Johannes)…

    1. elkement says:

      Probably it is a wordpress.com thing? However, I need a sample of typically 350 spam comments to find that many ‘postmodern eerie phrases’. Most comments are your usual ‘I am so glad I found your blog’.
      The best spam comments are the very long ones – they seem to be built by robots which throw in some usual phrases, probably they believe this will fool the spam filter. I am still baffled by the filter’s accuracy – I had a single false positive since March 2012.

  3. Breton’s mystery of coincidence is a convulsive beauty, but some of the images looked as if the designer was well aware of the face. The photographer cheated. There was no accident, except for the words, and perhaps the door knob. Choice is an accident if you do it well. You do with words. (no offense, constructive, yes?)

    1. elkement says:

      Thanks, Steve – I like your comment, can’t see any offense :-)
      I leaves me wondering if the engineers who designed or built these things probably added faces unintentionally.

  4. Art is choosing from the material. Maurice is right, squared.

    1. elkement says:

      Thanks postmoderndonkey, but I owe to the spammers :-) Someday I will receive mail from a professional spammer’s lawyer specialized on online copyright. Or WordPress will suspend my account because of a violation of Terms of Services.

      1. Exactly how graffiti artists gain their reps.

        1. elkement says:

          So probably I should setup a second (fake) account and ‘report’ elkement’s blog.

          1. Self-promotion is both subversive and traditional.

            1. elkement says:

              This is the sort of statement that should be printed on T-shirts, sprayed on train sets, or become a mission statement – of a self-help guru or an ad agency, for example.

  5. M. Hatzel says:

    “Always go after your heart” has ominous undertones as a comment (better hided the knives). I love the photos intermixed with the poem, how perfect!

    1. elkement says:

      Thanks :-) Probably I have missed a comment advertising knives!
      I absolutely love this ‘seeing faces in tech stuff’ – it was serendipitous as the images showed up when I searched Wikimedia for ‘spooky’, but I might have been inspired by these buildings with faces recently:

      1. M. Hatzel says:

        The moustache house (#1) is the funniest. Your spammers are so different than my cheer leader squadron of ‘great posts.’ If I ever wanted to know what it felt to be the target of sycophants, I have found my answer. I need some poetic grit to bring in the tension, the yearning, the reason to write a poem! Thus, high praise your spam folder, and the way you make it work!

        1. elkement says:

          Thanks again – actually I had something like a plan, an idea about a ‘topic’ of this poem. But it turned out otherwise :-) Most of the comments are about ‘great posts’ – there are only a few gems. This time the raw material consisted of about 350 spam comments.

          1. M. Hatzel says:

            Wow! That’s a lot to save and sort. How long did it take you to find the right lines?

            1. elkement says:

              Less than an hour – I scroll through them fast. I need to switch to a very intuitive mode for creating spam poetry – I am very choosy and delete the comments immediately after processing. I should create a name for that, perhaps: stream-of-consciousness spam poetry processing mode.

  6. You’re getting good at this :>)

    1. elkement says:

      Thanks, Maurice :-)

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