I follow the call to arms by fellow spam poet Michelle(*)(**). Every time she blogs about spam poetry, I have a spam poem in my drafts folder – so I think I need to release the current one now.
This time I defined the following goals: there should be a topic and a narrative, and the topic should be decided on before creating the poem.
So I was searching for powerful existential language in about 160 spam comments.
And then something odd happened. I probably can’t deny having been heavily influenced by Johannes’ pivotal spam poem about a Conversation with God. (That some god seems to have removed from the internet now – in the future.) When I had read his poem I figured: How on earth would you uncover a conversation with god in spam comments?
But when I searched for the ultimate questions and answers in my spam comments I realized that any suitable existential phrase is either
the pompous statement of a
or the longing plea of a potential
So I believe Johannes has unlocked what spam comments are really about – once for all.
I am just his disciple.
The soul of this bag
These was the precept we used
Sign up before it is too late
Its like you read my mind!
I have been seeking ages
I wish to apprentice
I’d really love to be a part of community
there are risks
with regards to the dimensional finely-detailed of the pieces
Please let me know where you got your design
that could give instant relief
seek out stableness and quiet
the things that you ought to perform right away
It’s very effortless
so here it occurs
your broadcast offered bright clear idea
Your favorite justification
These are actually enormous ideas
how a user can understand it.
I know this is totally off topic
you suspect that your method has become infected
is it a issue on my end?
how could we be in contact?
this type of discussion is futile
it’s time to be happy
I’ve added you
Poetry From The Spam Filter: Seven
(Voice from the future – blog offline now)
John even gives sublime audio performances of his poems – though I had always imagined my spam poems would be read by somebody with a British accent, Monthy Python style. I would like to hire John Cleese!
(*) Update – Breaking news:
Michelle’s freshly minted, enigmatic spam poem: Wisdom from the Spam-Master: Coded Secrets, Ozone Conspiracy (**)
(**) Voice from the future – blog post not available anymore.