I am overwhelmed with spam comments such as “You should take part in a contest for one of the greatest blogs on the web!”, and I really appreciate thoughtful quote spam as:
Perfectly composed articles, appreciate it for entropy.
“He who establishes his argument by noise and command shows that his reason is weak.”
by Michel de Montaigne.
Alex has started to actually answer the enigmatic questions our searchers ask (that is: submit to the Google oracle). My search terms include basically a single burning question that comes up several times a month – these are the rodent-related questions submitted in February:
does a microwave attract rats?
are mice attracted to microwaves
I can reply with a straight Yes, and I have given proof of that in my post Microwave Ovens Are Not Rodent-Ready (The images in that post are not for the faint of heart.)
I still do not know what is on my searchers’ minds, but I will try my best to poem-i-size their search terms again. All lines are verbatim search terms from February, not used in any other poem yet. So are the sub-titles. I am adding a Search Term Poet’s Beginner’s Guide below the poem.
El(k)ementary Search Term Poem, February 2013 Edition
(This is not a search term yet – the main title does not need to be)
trees in the wind
blank sheet of paper
poem using word spam
poems standing on the shoulders of others
accidentally on purpose google search poems
want more poetic search terms for laughing – how?
use of physics in day to day life of everything
use of physics in our daily life-chairs,tables
in what sense are we all newtonians?
intuitive meaning of temperature
intuition differential equations
intuition training and physics
Geek collection list
physics daily life trivia
trivia about parts of computer
academics obsessed with metrics
what is the same mass as 6/100(math)
english “scientists people with big brains”
my heat comes on when it wants to at home
engineering terms used in poems
perpetuum mobile patent
steam pump technology
the next level, 01
my theory on support metrics
theories of special day celebrations
the table sitting i’ve created to my sons graduation
(*) I added this one – breaking my rules, but hopefully Zen becomes a future search term.
(**) This is genuine. Non-engineers: See e.g. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rankine_cycle for further information.
(***) My February search terms are lacking something like “weird”, but I did not want to break the sub-title rules twice. This section is very avant-garde.
This is the end of the search term poem. The rest of the my post is my own writing. Just saying… in case it is not evident.
How to Create Search Term Poems
- Copy the list of search terms from your WordPress Stats to some text editor. I prefer Notepad in order not to screw up formatting. For the corporate time management ninjas: Create a series of appointments in Outlook with a reminder to make sure that you cover only search terms submitted within a certain period of time and avoid to re-use terms. The latter is forbidden by the yet-to-be-written rules of The Cult of Search Term Poetry.
- Delete all boring search terms, that is: Terms that could have been anticipated based on your blog’s comment (or write a blog that is so weird that there is no content that readers might anticipate – I am still trying hard). Thus I delete things like: “why does a spinning top not fall over” or all kinds of Einstein or Feynman related searches. But it really depends on context – sometimes a dull search term starts to shine when it is presented as a question or an answer to another unworldly search term.
- Browse the search terms and try to find a way of grouping them based on content, create temporary sub-titles and move terms to the groups accordingly. This is where your creativity is added to your searchers’ ingenuity.
- Copy the stuff over to your blog’s editor. (This is just a suggestion – you could do that later as well. the rules are not that strict on this one.)
- Re-arrange the search terms within groups to turn a list of meaningless phrases into, well, a poem. For advanced search term poets: Pick one of lines and promote it to this section’s sub-title and delete the temporary title.
- As usability experts tell us, we bloggers need to include images – otherwise our content will not be read from top to bottom. So browse some sites offering royalty-free images or your personally photo repository and pick the most-unrelated images(s) you can find to pepper your poem.
- For skilled search term poets: Try to find hidden symmetries and arrange the terms once more based on aesthetic criteria. I have done so by ordering based on the number of characters per phrase this time. Actually some of the sub-poems turned out as nearly ordered in this way naturally. “Feel your poem!”
- Click Publish and wait for offers by publishing houses, poetry journals or the Nobel Prize for Literature committee.
Note that I will be travelling through a worm-hole and trapped in a parallel corporate universe when you read this:
Replies to comments might be delayed by a few days as the subspace communication in the Delta (Dilbert) Quadrant is usually halted by corporate policy enforcers and NSA-style compliance filters. This is not a joke (only 95% of it is): Working from a corporate network I once noticed that some parts of the WordPress-i-verse had been considered “non-compliant” by the content filter: The blog logo (Blavatar) and the Stats page. That’s why I needed to get out the poem today!!
May the force be with you (not a search term quote – yet – but not very creative either)!