Since there is a part 1, I owe you a second part. Otherwise I would have called this posting:
At the other side of the worm hole.
I once thought that making a decision on a change (*) works like this:
(*) I think the following could be applied to life as such, but I am mainly referring to decisions on jobs and work.
- Define selection criteria.
- Evaluate pro’s and con’s.
- Draft a spreadsheet.
- Select the better option.
- Take the decision.
From experience I would say it rather works like that:
- Subconsciousness already takes the decision but you do not notice yet.
- You might fight the decision and try hard to keep yourself on (the old) track
- Some external event allows you to consider a change, often these events are unpleasant ones such as I lost my job in the economic crisis.
- If there is no external trigger you have to invent one. That’s can be harder than being pushed by inescapable destiny.
- You start drafting spreadsheets (see above) to catch up
- You start talking about the decision you are going to take, the first attempts are not rhetorically brilliant – in particular you convince yourself.
- You are in the middle of a black empty space – a worm hole – a black hole, whatever you may call it. The only way out is through (stolen from Alanis Morissette).
- You reached the other side of the worm hole and only then you know that have taken your decision.
Of course this does only work if you have a chance to gradually develop a decision rather than being forced to switch gears at once, such as: Search for a new job, quite your old job, take two weeks of vacation. As a self-employed consultant I had this chance and I think I had actually started to work self-employed in field 1 in order to be able to transition to field 2 in the way described above.
I had made my decisions the spreadsheet / efficient way before but the result was actually that I missed some fundamental changes that the lack of development time did not allow me to ponder on. So I believe in spite of all the hyperactivity in our high-speed world (yes, I know this is a cliché) and there are processes that need time and that cannot be accelerated.
I ended up with perfectly reasonable decisions and quite a track record but I was caught in the same type of traps again and again. It is not as easy to analyze as the point is: The feeling of being caught in a trap is a very personal and subjective thing. What is a trap and a dread to me, is business as usual or even fun for somebody else. Actually something that has once been fun to me can turn into a trap and you may need some time to realize that.